New Semester Exhaustion

I have the final post on St. Patrick sitting half finished, but I'm not sure if I can get it coherent before the weekend. The new semester just started for me, and as always, I'm exhausted.

Part of its the fact that I am now walking an extra 3+ miles uphill on Tuesdays and Thursdays. Part of it is the fact that I get really nervous before I meet the classes I teach each semester. Part of it is just a complete upset of my established routine. And this semester I have a constant, low level, draining panic over the qualifying exam. And trying to apply for grants. And do research. And hold my house together. And a dozen other things that are constant, but still require time and mental energy to address.

I love teaching. I love getting to know my students, inducing those 'ah ha' moments, or just generally sharing knowledge. I'm a treasure trove of random knowledge, so having a captive audience is great. And when I get my teacher feedback at the end of the semester, I love getting notes about how I made physics interesting, even if it isn't the student's topic of choice.

I just hate the getting-to-know-you part. I don't like learning names, though I try very hard for my students. I don't like learning a new class dynamic (are they going to be chatting or silent? Reluctant or engaged? Will I have to goad them into answering or will I have to tell them to quiet down?) In a week or two I will know where I stand, but in the meantime its like a giant game of social anxiety and everyone is looking at me.

So while I'm excited to begin a new semester, I'm also looking forward to the end of October. I'll know my students, my qualifying exam will be over, and I"ll have settled into a routine. And, it'll be nearly Christmas break.