The problem of Christians and shame has been on my mind for a while now. I would say its always been there in the back of my mind, but I really started contemplating it seriously after hearing an excellent sermon from my old pastor when I was visiting my parents last spring. He argued that one of the gifts that we receive when we place our trust in Christ is freedom from guilt and shame. The ultimate price has been paid. Every sinful thing we have ever done has been blotted out in the blood of Jesus. Therefore, we do not need to feel shame, and he urged us to embrace this freedom both for ourselves and for those we meet as part of showing them the love of Christ.
Which got me thinking. What is this source of shame? A lot of people would say its societal. That whole socio-evolutionary view that we developed shame to keep people in line. I've had more than a few people tell me that Christians have done more to instill a sense of shame than anyone else, citing the phenomena of 'Catholic Guilt' as a case in point. While I dispute that we are more to blame than anyone else, it is hard to dispute that the church has a well earned reputation for causing shame as much as it relieves it. So why do we have such a hard time getting rid of something that we aren't supposed to have, and no one wants?
I believe I have caught a glimpse of the problem, from a rather unlikely source. Depending on whether or not you had a Nickelodeon watching child 8 years ago, you may or may not be familiar with "Avatar: The Last Airbender" (the American anime style cartoon, not the awful M. Night Shyamalan movie). I need to do a post some time on why I like this show so much, and I am terrible at summaries, so instead I will direct you to the Wikipedia page if you are interested, which you should be. One of the characters, Iroh, acts as the moral center and source of wisdom throughout the series. In one episode ("Bitter Work"), Iroh observes, "...pride is not the opposite of shame, but its source. True humility is the only antidote to shame."
This got me to thinking. Anyone with any religious (or western literature) background knows that pride is one of the seven deadly sins, and [less well know] humility is one of the seven heavenly virtues. We usually hear about pride as being bad because it encourages us to set ourselves up equal to God and better than our fellow man. Its a sin because it leads us to build towers of Babel in our own lives, because it gives us the illusion that we can somehow save ourselves or, worse, don't even need saving. Pride makes us echo Satan in Paradise Lost, thinking that is its "Better to reign in Hell, than serve in Heav'n". I do not dispute any of this.
But I want to suggest that this is a rather flat picture of pride. It mostly describes how pride insults God, that the main issue with pride not that it hurts us in this life, but hurts our chances in the next. I want to suggest that it damages us just as much in this life. That pride has been the perpetual fountain of shame that we have never been able to stem. Most of us have never tried to cultivate true humility. We usually stop somewhere around the humble-brag stage, where we get caught being proud that we are humble. This is not humility, and leaves the door wide open not only for our own shame, but for shaming others. Far too often we say "Thank you God, that you did not make me that person" instead of reaching out. This is where we get all holier-than-thou and bruise the body of Christ, and prevent ourselves from truly knowing the freedom from shame and guilt that God wants for us.
This is not to say that we should not repent from our sins. But if we did not think so highly of ourselves to begin with, we would not feel the need to wallow in guilt once we have confessed and been cleansed from all iniquity.
What would true humility look like? I'm not sure. I know that it is a lot more selfless, a lot quieter, a lot more generous than whatever it is we are doing now. Humility requires us to look beyond ourselves, to acquire a proper perspective of who we are and what we are here for. I don't think this means dwelling on how insignificant we are in the grand scheme of things. In the grandest of grand scheme of things, you were important enough for God to become flesh, and submit Himself to death for you. But I do think it requires us to remember that we are Christ's hands and feet in this world now, and that we should be trying to see a long lost brother or sister in everyone we meet, and acting accordingly.
If only we can let go of our pride, and embrace true humility, we may at last shed the shame that keeps us from knowing, and sharing, Christ' love to the fullest.
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